Tag Archives: Professional Development

Principals are the Lead Relationship Builders

Relationship Builders

School leaders build relationships in their schools. Relationships are a vital part of our personal and professional lives. School buildings are ecosystems filled with children and adults from various walks of life. All look for positive interactions that help shape their school experiences. Educators are encouraged to foster and facilitate positive teacher-student, parent-teacher, and student-student relationships. Where should they begin? It all starts with the leader.

School Leaders Build Relationships

Principals are the lead relationship builders, a role that every school leader has in their list of responsibilities. Although principals are well-known as instructional leaders in their schools, they play various roles in the position. As a leader, you will have various connections, associations, links, or bonds with stakeholders of the school ecosystem.

Schools are the Hubs of Communities

Why are solid and positive relationships meaningful in education? A school often serves as the hub of a community. The building is a safe space for students, parents, and staff. However, it’s not just the physical space of a building that matters; it’s also the human interactions in that space. What goes on among humans in that building is crucial to students’ success.

Let’s explore the relationships that affect stakeholders and how the lead relationship builder can support all of them.

Relationship With Students

First, a principal’s relationship with students is most significant. Without students, there would not be a school. Children need positive, trusting, and supportive connections in their lives. We hope that students come to us with solid and positive familial bonds. However, some come from broken homes and families. They arrive in our schools mistrustful and guarded. 

Build Trust and Healing

The lead relationship builder must model trusting, healing, and supportive interactions for all students. Assure them it is a safe space for all they physically and emotionally bring. Leaders must learn their names and stories. Talk with students one-on-one and discuss issues that matter to them. Be an active listener and also be firm but fair when needed. Building and maintaining strong “developmental relationships” help connect the principal-student connection.

Relationships Between Adults and Students

Developmental relationships between adults and students must include expressing care, challenging growth, providing support, sharing power, and expanding possibilities. Educating yourself as a leader and the staff about developmental relationships requires research and professional learning opportunities. For more information about the developmental relationship frameworks, visit the Search Institute.

Principal-Teacher Relationships

Next, the lead relationship builder must focus on the principal-teacher relationships. Sometimes, the bond between a principal and teachers can be tenuous. Both have high expectations of the other and must realize it takes both to develop successful students. Teachers want trust, support, and to be seen as professionals. It’s a two-way street for all three items. You earn trust over time through merit and actions. Teachers must work to achieve their principal’s confidence and visa-versa. 

Trust Teachers’ Professionalism

School leaders, you must earn their trust, too. Show the teachers that you trust their professionalism and will always be professional. Give teachers the space and support to grow as leaders. Allow staff members to be part of the decision-making process. Show support by providing the resources they need to be successful teachers. Appreciate staff members for their hard work and dedication. Allow them to see your humanness and vulnerability. 

Principal-Parent Relationships

School leaders build relationships with parents. The principal-parent connection is more significant than most realize. Parents can be your greatest allies or your worst enemies. They want respect and what’s best for their children. Being kind and showing your human side invites parents into a comfortable space.

Build Cooperative Relationships with Parents

A principal needs to look for opportunities to build cooperative relationships with parents. Leaders who embrace the chance to build relationships with parents will find it a worthwhile investment. Parents may not always agree with your decisions. Their response and support will be different based on your relationship with them. Still, they may better understand your professional choices if the leader-parent connection is strong. Being trustful and respectful may ease the gap when your decision is incorrect. 

Community Relationships

Community involvement is a good recipe for a successful school. School leaders build relationships with community members. They want to have great schools for children to attend. Developing and building strong relationships with community members, external partners, and agencies is also a priority. Positive connections to the community create success in gaining public support, minimal parent criticisms, and higher student and parent engagement.

Increase Community Support

Whether urban, suburban, or rural, the school is the hub of the community. Strong community connections can help improve student and staff morale, increase community support, build trust, and increase student engagement. As the lead relationship builder, you must find ways to reach out to and engage residents and businesses in the community. Often, many school alums still reside nearby. They have memories and pride in being students. That pride is a valuable tool to support the students and school more.

Conclusion

Principals, leadership is a huge responsibility. The weight is too heavy for many. One way to survive the heaviness is to be the lead relationship builder. By connecting with students, staff, parents, and community members, they can support, lift you and help build a successful school. You must reach your stakeholders and form long-lasting bonds.

Relationship Building Tips

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There is Life After School Leadership

Being a school administrator is tough. The role of a principal or assistant principal requires much stamina. For many, they are overwhelmed, and they teeter on burning out. I see many social media posts of school leaders stating they are ready to walk away due to the overwhelming responsibilities of the job. However, they are afraid to leave because they assume they cannot work in other fields. What they do not know is that there is life after school leadership.

For this post, I created a video to describe some of the career possibilities an administrator can pursue based on their skills. In this video, I speak about my journey when I lost my career as a school principal. Over time and through trials and experience, I realized I had to think outside my box and develop a new mindset. Through the journey, I discovered my life after school leadership.

There is Life After School Leadership

Watch the video to learn more about my life after school leadership.

After watching the video, reflect on your next move as a school leader. Decide what is best for you and your family. Assess all parts of your health, including your mental, physical, and financial well-being. Weigh the pros and cons of your role. Revisit your “why” or purpose to see if it is relevant or has/should it change.

Being miserable, overwhelmed, and highly stressed is not an option. That’s no way to live life personally or professionally. Stay or leave is a big decision, and I understand the fear. However, life decisions are never easy. Take time to think, reflect, rethink, or consult. Always remember, there is life after school leadership.

You Are A Resilient Leader 

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Being a Resilient Leader

Resilience and resilience are buzzwords in education. The two words are tossed around like leaves in the wind, especially during a pandemic. People ask school administrators if they are resilient or possess resilience. Indeed, most people answer in the affirmative; however, do they know what resilience entails? So, we ask the question, what does being a resilient leader mean to you? 

Definition of Resilience

First, let’s define resilience.  According to APA, “Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors.” How can you determine if you are a resilient leader when there are many working pieces?  

Difficult Times and Hard Decisions

As a school leader, you face and must adapt well to many situations throughout the school year. Even a typical school day can present a variety of circumstances for you to handle.

Next, why is it essential to possess resilience? Throughout your personal and professional lives, you will face difficult times, hard decisions, and more. Resilience gives you the emotional strength to cope with trauma, adversity, and hardship. It utilizes your resources, stability, and skills to overcome challenges and work through challenges. 

You may ask yourself, “How do I know if I am resilient enough? No one knows if they are hard enough to handle some difficult situations, including school leaders. You do not always know how to react to adversity until it happens. However, you can learn more about your resiliency level by taking a quiz. Click on the link, answer the questions, and find your results.

https://www.resiliencyquiz.com/index.shtml

School leaders handle daily difficult decisions.

Resiliency is Complex

Resiliency is not a simple concept. It has many components, and it is complex and personal. Resiliency has no universal fit, and everyone is different regarding one’s inner strength and outer resources. Let’s look at the examples of resilience, the Seven C’s, and the protective factors of resilience. After reviewing the information, let it marinate and determine where you fit.

Examples of Resilience

There are three examples of resilience: physical, emotional, and community. Consider what each represents.

Physical resilience is the body’s ability to withstand challenges and maintain the stamina needed to push through difficult situations. It includes the body’s ability to recover from injuries, illnesses, accidents, or exhausting physical demands.

Emotional Resilience asks how you cope personally when a crisis or a significant change in your life happens. It is how well you handle or adjust to stressful situations and adversity. An emotionally resilient person can assess the situation and pull from their resources to push through the issue. 

Community and Psychological Resilience

Community resilience is the ability of groups of people to respond to and recover from adverse situations. A community may deal with a natural disaster, violence, a public health crisis, or a lack of economic resources. How community members respond to adverse situations or bounce back is a part of their resilience.

Psychological resilience is about one’s ability to adapt to a difficult change or situation mentally. A psychologically resilient person can remain calm and focused through an adverse situation. 

7 C’s of Resilience

Seven C’s of Resilience

The Seven C’s of Resilience, developed by a pediatrician, Ken Ginsburg, MD, is well known. His specialty is in adolescent medicine at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Dr. Ginsburg developed the 7 Cs model of resilience to help kids and teens build the skills to be happier and more resilient. Although the model was for children, the skills also apply to adults. 

Dr. Ginsburg developed the 7 Cs model to center around these critical ideas. First, children and teens live up or down to the expectations that (we) adults set for them. The young people need us (adults) to hold them accountable to high expectations and love them unconditionally. Second, modeling resilience for kids and teens is more important than discussing it.

Now, you are wondering what the 7 C’s of resilience are. The American Academy of Pediatrics summarizes the 7 Cs as follows:

  • Competence: We must know how to handle situations, trust our judgment, and make responsible decisions. 
  • Confidence: We gain confidence by being competent individuals. One should be skilled in handling real-life situations.
  • Connection: It is imperative to have close ties to family, friends, and community. These provide a sense of security and belonging in our lives.
  • Character: We need a fundamental sense of right and wrong. We should make responsible choices, contribute to society, and experience self-worth.
  • Contribution: A sense of purpose is a powerful motivator for children and adults. Making contributions to one’s community reinforces positive relationships that give and receive.
  • Coping: Learning to cope with stress effectively helps to better prepare us to handle adverse situations and personal or professional setbacks.
  • Control: Develop an understanding of our internal control to help us act as problem-solvers, not victims of circumstance. Suppose we learn that we can control the outcomes of our decisions. In that case, we are more likely to see ourselves as capable and confident.

Protective Factors

Being a resilient leader or human does not mean that you will not experience adversity, complicated situations, or distress. Life is not always rosy and full of joy. Developing resilience happens over time. None of us are born with it. We learn it and not necessarily during our childhood. Becoming a school leader and managing day-to-day issues can bring out the best or worst in you. Some situations can take you out physically or emotionally, while others are as simple as ABC. As a resilient leader, you will need the following six things.

Social Support: You need people who have your back or who you can lean on during difficult times. Family members, friends, siblings, or colleagues are possibilities. Please make sure they are trustworthy and fully supportive. 

Realistic Planning: Your ability to think out and create practical plans will help you play to your strengths and develop strategic goals.

Self-Esteem: Confidence is your friend and superpower. Your sense of self should be evident as you work through adversity.

Coping Skills: Problem-solving is a big part of managing. Hardships are not unsolvable. Use your problem-solving skills to get to the root of the matter. Then work it out!

Communication Skills: You must communicate what you need and your plan. During a crisis, you must mobilize your support systems and resources. You can do that by precisely sharing what is required.

Emotional Regulation: Can you manage your emotions during challenging times? You may feel like crying, screaming, or breaking down, but it exudes confidence within you.

You are Resilient

Many days, a school leader’s job is challenging, especially during a pandemic. Your load is heavy, and more duties and responsibilities are piling on you. You know that you cannot falter because the students, staff, and community depend on you. Whether you are ready or not for a brewing storm, your resilience has you covered. You are a resilient leader!

Quote of the Day: Resilience is the core strength you use to lift the load of life. Amet Sood, MD

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Resources

https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience American Psychological Association

Resilience Skills, Factors and Strategies