Category Archives: Wellness

Leadership Trauma is Real

Leadership Trauma is Real

Recently, I listened to a podcast where the guests gave their perspectives about leading underresourced and Title 1 schools. Their conversation about the struggles brought back memories of my tenure as a principal in an urban Pre-K-8th grade school. I found myself shaking my head in agreement many times about their joys, successes, frustrations, and determination as school leaders. At the same time, I remembered the politics, stress, and the many times I had to go to war for my students. It was an epiphany moment, and I realized I had experienced leadership trauma. More importantly, leadership trauma is real!

Leadership trauma is not a part of many discussions. If you Google the term, most results are about trauma-informed leadership. Trauma is exposure to an incident or series of emotionally disturbing or life-threatening events with lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being.    (Source) The sources of trauma are usually based on past events, and there are three types of trauma. They are acute, chronic, and complex. The difference between leadership trauma is that its base is future events.  

Leadership Trauma is Relational

When I mentioned leadership trauma to some colleagues, they thought I had made up a term. While it’s not usually a discussion among educators, more research and resources about business CEOs and their experiences with leadership trauma are available. School leaders possess the same skills, knowledge, wisdom, struggles, and pressures as business leaders. So making comparisons is not too difficult.

Leadership trauma is relational and has an entirely different orientation of time than other traumas. Things that could happen in your future haunt you. So instead of flashbacks, you have flash-forwards of disaster, either explicitly in thoughts or implicitly, in your body as you fill with anxiety.    Leadership trauma is composed of the fear of failure, shame, and humiliation. Add self-blame to the mix and think of examples when you experienced one or more of these emotions.

A Principal’s Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is difficult, but I will share part of my professional story. Several examples come to mind when I reflect on my time as a principal. In my school district, the pressure to increase test scores was intense. To add to the intensity were the fear and threats of school closings. If the scores did not drastically improve, principals were browbeaten and told the district would reconstitute the school with new staff and administrators. 

 Once I worried so much about the test scores that I experienced hives and an anxiety attack. If the school closed, who could I blame other than me? To have a school fail during my watch would have been the ultimate shame during my career.    

Also, during my tenure, The mayor threatened to close 50 schools due to enrollment declines and other political reasons. My school was on the closing list, and my staff, parents, and community members had to fight to keep our school open. We won that fight, but it wasn’t an easy battle.

Fear, Shame, and Humiliation

I know the feeling of humiliation, too. The urban school district where I worked for 27 years is very political and has many pockets of toxicity. School leaders often feel not well respected or honored for the difficult job.    

During my last year of tenure, I was pushed out of school and lost my career. Not only was I blindsided by politics, but also humiliated professionally and personally. All of the hard work and dedication went in a matter of weeks. There was no easy way to explain or describe the traumatic event’s emotions, thoughts, anger, or sadness. Although I didn’t know it, leadership trauma is real. 

The responsibility of being the captain of the ship is heavy. A leader walks a tightrope every day. Have you any fear of failure, shame, humiliation, or self-blame? Do you lay awake many nights fearing the unknown or what will happen to your students, families, or staff members if you fail?    

School leaders walk a tightrope and have a range of emotions.

The Struggles are Real

Principals put out fires every day. You have to make on-the-spot decisions. Have you feared being shamed because of a difficult decision or reaction to a difficult situation? Do you worry that your morals and values will not pass the test of politics or directives? All of these questions are legitimate and can contribute to the causes of leadership trauma.

Your job will present an array of struggles. The pressures of the role are impossible to ignore. Here are a few examples of efforts that may cause your blood pressure, fears, and anxieties to rise. 

  • A struggle is when you ask yourself why you took the principalship in the first place.
  • A struggle is when the school budget drastically decreases; you have to lay off staff members and are still responsible for the exact expectations.
  • A struggle is when your staff does not buy into your vision and necessary improvements.
  • A struggle is when the district, state, or federal mandates do not represent your values or morals.
  • A struggle is when the parents and community members are not supportive of your decisions.
  • A struggle is when you read negative and divisive posts on social media about you or the school.
  • A struggle is when you wake up in the morning and have to talk yourself into going to work. 
  • A struggle is when you question your own decisions and morals.
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It’s a Lonely Job

Being a leader can be a lonely and unhappy position. It comes in many forms and can touch lives even in the leadership role. When leaders discuss their negative experiences and emotions, people don’t want to believe them. Some can’t imagine that being the boss comes with fear, pain, and shame. How can you be traumatized if you’ve made it to the top? None of us are immune to trauma. 

It is essential to continue to have discussions about the trauma of leadership. Reflect on your fears and anxiety or the things that keep you up at night. If you feel you have leadership trauma, commit yourself to a coach or therapy.   

Continue the Dialogue

 Do not ignore your pain or suffering. A traumatized person should not try to handle it alone. It’s not good to continue to push yourself through adversities. Instead, find time to connect with colleagues, coaches, or mental health professionals. 

If you are traumatized, understand your reality and put your problem-solving skills to work. Prioritize what needs completion and in what order. Leadership trauma affects our effectiveness. If you are shamed and dehumanized, you cannot effectively do your job. Focus on your values and ethics to help bring more balance and healing. 

Let’s continue to keep the dialogue ongoing about the trauma of leadership. I wish that I had recognized the signs when in a leadership role. As a school principal, I did not know the trauma that was happening at the time. Many of you probably did not think of the possibility, but now we have more information. Awareness is the first step needed to tackle the problem.

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Are You Married to the Job? 

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I Said, I Do

Becoming a school principal was a big goal of mine. In 2009 I was handed the keys to the building. Finally, I said I do! Excited and full of ideas, I accepted the job and said my wedding vows to my new spouse. My job became my new husband. What no one told me was that the vows meant sickness and health and possibly close to death! Becoming a principal means being married to a job that doesn’t come with much reciprocity. Are you married to the job?

I guess that I shouldn’t say the job doesn’t come with much reciprocity. The majority of educators don’t do the job for the money. We do it for the students, families, or communities. Many of us enjoy working with our colleagues and collaborating with our peers. These are all reciprocal relationships. However, sometimes it feels as if it is a thankless job.

Burnout in the Educational Field

You all know that burnout is at an all-time high in the educational field. The statistics are everywhere, so I won’t display any data in this post. The information is accessible to Google if you want to dig deeper. You also know that teaching and leading during a pandemic is extremely difficult and has presented many deficiencies and inequities in our educational systems. Many educators press onward and don’t think of their physical and mental health despite all of these things. You take your marriage vows to your job seriously and forget to think about your health.

Stroke Mode

I am going to be vulnerable and tell you a story about my health. During my final year as a principal, I nearly had a stroke. The stress of the job was literally killing me. First, let me say that God watched over me with His grace. One morning I awoke with the worst headache of my life. I popped a couple of ibuprofen while talking to a friend and colleague. I told her about my headache, and she encouraged me to go to the emergency room. Despite her encouragement, I decided to drive to work. During my drive, I felt horrible and my vision blurred, and my thoughts were jumbled. Determined to not miss work and all of the things on my to-do list, I continued driving. 

Walking in the pharmacy, I was very nervous. My friend called me about five or six times on my cell phone. She pleaded with me to at least stop and got my blood pressure taken at the nearest Walgreens. I kept saying and in my mind that I was okay; however, I did stop in the pharmacy for a blood pressure check. What I didn’t know yet was that I was in stroke mode.

A Wake-Up Call

The pharmacist took my blood pressure, and it was 199/120. She said, “Oh my God! Let me take your pressure on the left arm!” The blood pressure reading was 195/118. The pharmacist asked me if I wanted to go to the ER. I said no, I would go to work, close my office door, and relax for a few minutes. Maybe, the numbers will go down.  I was married to the job, and it was about to kill me. Looking back on the event, I was not being very smart. How many times have you chosen your career over your health?

Needless to say, I was not using my common sense and nearly paid for it with my health and life. I did go to work that day, but my assistant principal and building engineer made sure that I saw a doctor. Also, that day my physician told me to choose to keep living or let the job kill me. It was a wake-up call. Being married to the job was not a great option anymore. It was time for a legal separation or divorce.

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Warning Signs

Educators, we think we are invincible even when the body and mind say something differently. Frequently, our bodies give us warning signs like headaches, stomach issues, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, eye twitches, and more. Many educators go to work when ill or mentally drained because the kids need us. Your body needs you to slow down and get healthy. Every teacher, principal, and all school personnel is replaceable with another warm body. You don’t want to be a cold body that is six feet under. Are you married to the job instead of your health and wellness?

When you feel ill or stressed, it’s okay to take a day off.

Thinking back to the warning signs I received during my tenure as principal, I have a list of things. The first year of marriage to the job, I broke out in hives all over my body. This happened the day before standardized test scores were to be announced. I was so nervous and anxious about whether or not scores and the school ranking dropped. When I reflect on the district’s pressure on school administrators about test scores, I still want to throw up! 

Ignoring the Symptoms

Next, I gained over 20 pounds because I did not eat healthy meals. The stress was so intense that sipping a glass of red wine was a way to self-medicate. At one point, my significant other asked if I had a drinking problem. I said no, but it made me pause. My blood pressure and cholesterol increased to the point where medication was prescribed. 

Sleepless nights became a regular thing because I could not turn off my mind about what the students and schools needed. There were many threats of losing the job because the test scores weren’t increasing fast enough, or I wasn’t disciplining or pushing out enough seasoned teachers. Lastly, the emotional abuse from the politics and district administrators was overwhelming. It was relentless and caused lasting damage to my health. 

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Take Care of Yourself

Can you resonate with any of my examples? Count the times you have experienced signs of illness, and you ignored it. How often have you gone to work sick with the flu, a cold, or pneumonia? You are probably married to the job in sickness and health. Can you deny that you are married to the job? 

Look, I am not telling you to divorce your job. However, if the weight of the job is slowly destroying your health, it is time to find balance. Every year educators contemplate leaving the profession. That’s okay because you have to do what is best for you. Whether you are a teacher or school administrator, the most critical priority is to take care of yourself.

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7 Ways to Protect Your Health 

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Protect Your Health

Educators, protect your health because no one is worried about your health. The Delta variant of COVID 19 is raging across the country and world. School districts are intent on returning students to class by all means necessary. Anti-vaxxers and anti-mask persons are creating havoc at school board meetings. Some even harass and physically abuse teachers and administrators who try to enforce policies. So you see, no one can protect your health better than you. You have permission to take care of yourself!

COVID-19 Hits Hard

Let’s review how we got to this point of contention. COVID hit our country hard in early 2020. Suddenly our hospitals and emergency rooms filled up with very ill patients. Medical personnel was overwhelmed with the number of people overfilling hospital beds. Businesses, schools, and government offices closed down. Mask and health mandates became requirements for us all. Scientists rushed to create a vaccine to help stop the carnage of COVID. In the United States, over 600,000 people died within 12-18 months.

For a few months, we thought that we might have a reprieve after people began to vaccinate. The number of Covid cases decreased as more received the shots. Hospitalizations also reduced, and people began to let down their guard. Cities and schools began to open again. Suddenly we felt like we could live again, hug people we love, take off masks, hold family gatherings, or go out to restaurants. We were throwing caution to the wind too fast created another dilemma for us to navigate.

Decisions, Stress, and Frustration

As decisions come, the teachers and school administrators are not a part of the process. What else we have to navigate is how to keep ourselves safe and healthy. School boards and politicians make policies and mandates without knowing the full effect and impact their decisions have on the teachers and administrators in the trenches every day. Afterward, the impact hits hard, and we are left to pick up the pieces. Unfortunately, picking up the pieces adds extra stress and frustration to one’s personal and professional life.

Eating nutritious and balanced meals can improve your overall health.
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We know how stress and frustration affect the teacher burnout statistics. Pile on the effects of a pandemic, and now more teachers and school leaders than ever want to leave the profession. The anxiety level of fearing of getting infected with COVID is a reality for many. Educators worry about the possibility of sick colleagues and students, unclean classroom surfaces, masks slipping off of students’ faces, and wondering what happens to you if you become ill. 

So that the worry is not overwhelming, it’s time for you to protect your health. What can you do to keep yourself healthy and safe? Here are several ways to protect your health.

Proper Nutrition and Hydration

Good health begins with eating nutritiously. Your body needs healthy foods and plenty of water. Frequently, teachers and school administrators do not take the time to eat proper meals or to stay hydrated during the school day. On the other hand, stressed-out educators may emotionally binge on the junk or processed food as a way to self-medicate. Or some of you drink coffee or sugary drinks all day instead of water. Your body needs foods rich in nutrients, vitamins, proteins, etc. Check the CDC website for suggestions on preparing and eating nutritious meals.

Exercise and Stay Active

Your body needs exercise and movement! Being sedentary is not suitable for any human being. Our bodies are to be active. So, let’s get moving! Do not say that there’s no time to exercise, because you can make the time. During preparation periods, find a few minutes to stretch, leg lifts, yoga moves, jumping jacks, etc. Roll your shoulders and neck, deep breathe and work the kinks out. Walk around the playground or football field. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Even in the classroom with your students, you can have stretch breaks between transition times. You will feel better and get your body more accustomed to constant movement. 

Get Adequate Rest

Your body needs exercise and movement! Being sedentary is not suitable for any human being. Our bodies are to be active. So, let’s get moving! Do not say that there’s no time to exercise, because you can make the time. During preparation periods, find a few minutes to stretch, leg lifts, yoga moves, jumping jacks, etc. Roll your shoulders and neck, deep breathe and work the kinks out. Walk around the playground or football field. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Even in the classroom with your students, you can have stretch breaks between transition times. You will feel better and get your body more accustomed to constant movement. 

Maintaining Healthcare

Are you the person who never goes to the doctor or takes your medicine? Do you go to work sick and spread your germs to others? Why are you saving your sick days? Do you have a chronic condition like diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, or asthma? COVID-19 took a toll on persons with underlying health issues. Many infected people with previous health issues either died or continue to have serious side effects. Protect your health by taking the necessary prescribed medications or schedule regular appointments with your primary care doctors. By the way, if you feel sick, stay home or see the doctor!

Take Stress and Anxiety Seriously

All of the chronic illnesses mentioned earlier are exasperated by stress and worry. Stress kills, and anxiety causes disease. Brushing off one or both are not good for anyone. Protect your health by recognizing the damage stress and anxiety causes to one’s body. Develop positive coping skills to combat the effects and damage of stress and anxiety. Try to stay positive and not focus on negative things. Seek professional counseling if everything is overwhelming and it feels like the walls are closing in on you. Also, find positive activities, including exercise, a hobby, journaling, reading, or meditating. A healthy mind helps to keep your body healthy, too. 

Stay Connected With Family and Friends

During times of hardship, illness, or worry, some people disconnect from everything and everyone. Please do not isolate yourself from friends and family members. Protect your health by reaching out to people who care about your well-being. You may feel like you want to curl up in a ball and be left alone. However, you desire to be around people because we are social beings. We need to talk about how we feel and what’s going on. You want advice when there doesn’t seem to be an easy answer. Stay connected by reaching out to friends and family. 

Keep Your Workspace Clean and Healthy

One of the biggest things teachers can do to protect your health is to keep your workspace healthy and clean. The classroom should not be a petri dish. Create health and safety routines with your students. First, you need a few items to have a clean workspace and classroom. It would be best to have anti-bacterial wipes and gel, Lysol spray, masks, rubber gloves, paper towels, tissue for runny noses, and a few more items. Hopefully, the school can provide the supplies to have available for daily use. 

Establish a schedule in the classroom for cleaning moments. Delegate specific responsibilities to students (helpers for the day). They can help to wipe off desks; door handles, etc. Students do enjoy having duties and jobs in the classroom. Build out an hourly schedule, or between transitions, so the cleaning becomes a daily routine. Also, turn it all into a teachable moment about how a clean classroom environment reduces the spread of germs and illness. 

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Students Need a Well Teacher

Educators, your health is a significant priority. Of course, students need a healthy teacher, but your family and friends need you to be whole, too. Put yourself and your health first! Even when we get beyond this COVID pandemic, the seven ways to protect your health remain essential to fighting disease and illnesses. 

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